growing up.

looking back at the days when i 1st came to melbourne, i felt that i was a toddler learning to walk. back in singapore, i was so protected. coming to melbourne alone exposed me to the real word. first few days here, i felt like a new born baby in the craddle, curiously absorbing anything and everything the my eyes can see. life was so fascinating, it was the beginning of a journey i longed to have. my first impression of melbourne was really good, moreover, my parents were with me. everything was taken care of, i always have them to rely on. :) life's good.

after they left, i started living my life. i know wad i want and i know how to get it. tripped along the way but everything was going well. found some really good friends that broke my fall - shuwen, lionnel, anesha, calvin... they are like family here... thanks people... and of cuz those back home who still keep in contact with me... ty, xw, hp, sl, xy, jo, mel, etc... thanks man... for all the sms, calls, emails, letters, parcels, presents... you were there jus when i needed you :) *gan dong* quote from xw:" liu yi di lei"

till then, life's so good. i guess i've never been happier. well... that's one of my peaks... soon after that, li en came to melb fro 4 months. haha... i had such a great time with him and wanling... 2 of us are so excited about everything we see... haha... life's really good. i cant describe how happy i was. :)

i really was.

back then, life's so simple. all i have to do is to take care about myself. i stay in my room with minimal communication and relationship with people. i have no internet, so i can really concentrate on my work.

learning to walk was fun. strolling along watching the little things in life pass by slowly, enjoying every scenery and every scent to it's tiniest bit. life's good. but i pushed my luck a little further, hoping to achieve more. when one learnt to walk, they become more ambitious and they start to run. during the run, things passed unnoticed and we missed out on the little happiness we once settled for, our vision blurred and we get tired too easily. without a specific goal, all of a sudden, i realised --- i'm lost. i need to get back. but i din stop running. i fell, i tripped, i tumbled and i rolled. "you'll never step in the same water twice" how true... life's never gonna be the same. i'm all wear out, confused, distracted and pissed with myself. my emotional cycles change faster than any bullet train and its peaks and troughs occur more frequent than any changes in the economy. i'm drained by my thoughts.

now,
i have to find a way out.



maybe,
i should start walking again.




*thanks for walking with me.